Can I Ever Be Forgiven?

Dear Father,

I found your website and think that you might be able to answer my question. My husband and I were married when he was 19 and I 17. We are now 33 and 30. He is a confirmed Catholic who was not in the church at the time of our marriage. We were married civilly. I was not baptized in any faith, until the age of 23 when I was baptized in the Baptist faith. Also, at the age of 22 I had a tubal ligation done. Now, I am converting to Catholicism and trying to get my husband to come back to the Church. My 1st question is, will we have to be married in the Church to have our marriage recognized? And 2nd, when I make my first confession, and confess the sin of using birth control, since the method I am using is a permanent one, which I can't afford to have undone, will I always have to confess this, and can I ever be forgiven for it? I appreciate any help you can give me.

Thank You,



Dear Jennifer,

Good to hear about your converting to Catholicism. My prayers are with you. Have you talked yet to your local priest or director of RCIA? You can be forgiven in confession for the tubal ligation (you would only need to confess it once) and given the circumstances you mentioned you would probably not have to try to have it reversed, but please talk to your local priest to whom you can explain things more fully. Because of your husband's baptism as a Catholic, I would assume you would need to get your marriage blessed. Is he in agreement with doing that? If not I believe something can be done so that you would be able to become a Catholic, go to confession, communion, etc. Once again talk to your local priest. My prayers are with you & your husband.

God bless,

Fr. Phil Bloom

P.S. For further moral guidelines, please see the letter regarding Vasectomy.