First of all, my prayers for your girlfriend and for yourself. Certainly a lot of healing will be required from that traumatic experience. I would only ask that she not close the door to the possibility of healing being needed for the trauma of the abortion itself. No matter how a child comes, a woman usually has a sense of it being a true part of her and calling out to her in some way.
I was with a friend once when this beautiful little girl came up and put her arms around him. He later commented on what a lovely, affectionate child she was. I told him the truth, "her mom was raped by one of her uncles." Now I realize I could not force the mom's choice on anyone else. As you say, even in the days when abortion was illegal, people were still making that choice. And in today's legal abortion clinics, the service is sometimes awful. I know that anecdotally from many confessions, but also from books that have researched the subject.
But the question in all this comes back to the fetus or embryo - real human life or glob of tissue? If just a glob of tissue, abortion is no problem. I do not think most women believe that, especially today when you can hear a tiny baby's heartbeat and see pictures of the continuous development. Do you see what I am trying to say?
Fr. Phil Bloom
Abortion and Pro-Choice