I have heard conflicting opinions on this. I know that oral sex in and of itself is wrong. But at the same time I have wondered what the Catholic Church would think about the following scenario: After proper marital relations, would it be morally acceptable for the husband to preform oral sex of his wife so that she may achieve orgasm?
I may have to refer your question to someone more knowledgeable than myself. It sound like you already know the broad parameters: that oral sex is morally acceptable as foreplay, but that the sex act between husband and wife must be integral, i.e. ejaculation inside the vagina.
Pope John Paul has written and spoken about the husband's responsibility to not just think about his own pleasure, but his wife's. I don't know if that would include bringing her to an orgasm after his own within her.*
Maybe someone else will know more and I will pass it on to you. Meanwhile if you get a more definite answer, please let me know. I have not had the question come up exactly that way in a confession or counseling situation, but undoubtably others have. Of course the pleasure or release aspect must be kept in the context of the meaning of marital love--becoming one and openness to life.
Fr. Phil Bloom
*I have subsequently received an email from a Marine arguing that a husband is "permitted to stimulate his wife to orgasm after the conjugal act has already reached its end for him in the normal and moral way, namely ejaculation in the vagina." He cites respected moral theologians who say it is not just permissible, but almost a duty.
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