What is Permited?

From a college girl: "how far is too far?"


Thank you for your confidence in writing. The important commandment to keep in mind is not just the sixth (vs. the use of sex outside of marriage) but also the fourth - honor your father and mother. If you do not do anything with your boyfriend that you would not do in the presence of your parents (and he in the presence of his) you will do well. This would rule out "groping" and also what the Latinos call "besos mojados" (wet kisses).

The Bible makes it pretty clear that a young person should not embark on any serious relationship without their parents blessing. Of course, the priest is your spiritual father, but you do need to let your parents, at least one of them, know what is happening in the most important area of your life. Do you see what I mean?

Have you read Wendy Shalit's Return to Modesty? She is a Jewish girl who has beautifully captured the biblical teaching. She has a lovely statement on what it means to belong to someone. People have reacted to the idea of belonging to ones father or belonging to ones husband, but she asks, "What is so bad about belonging to someone?" I try to tell the young people here at Holy Family, you belong to us and we belong to you.

God bless,

Fr. Phil Bloom