How Should I Go to Confession?

I have a question about abortion. Ten years ago I got a girl pregnant and the girl had an abortion. I didn't fight her decision to have one and was almost glad she did. After several months I started really feeling guilty about it and am not sure what to do. I'm not a really strong practicing Catholic but the fact that I have this over my head really doesn't help because I'm kind of afraid and feel like I don't belong. I haven't been to confession since Catholic grade school almost 20 years ago and would like to go again soon. Should I mention this? Is this directly my sin also? Above and beyond the sin that I had sex outside or marriage of course. Please let me know. I go to church about once a month and would really like to start going weekly but feel I should go to confession first. Thanks


Thank you for having the trust to write, to open your heart about such a serious concern. I just got back from a retreat in Steubenville, so that is the reason I did not respond more quickly. But, yes, do go to confession. as soon as possible. My advice is to express it to the priest as you have done in your e-mail. Let Jesus sort out the degree of your own culpability. Obviously you are the father and you did not fight for the life of your child which is a heavy burden, but Jesus wants to take it off your shoulders. Go to him first, maybe by kneeling before a crucifix or holding one in your hands, then go to confession. You might consider how you want that to be: anonymously behind a screen or face to face with the priest. Also whether you will want more time to talk and hear some words from the priest (he may be rushed especially if it is Sat. afternoon before Mass). And whether it would be a priest you have some relationship with or one who will simply to absolve you by the authority of Jesus. No matter what you will probably experience a profound relief, but remember that emotions are not the main thing. What counts is the certainty of Jesus' forgiveness and you will know it by the power of the keys which he gave to his apostles and their successors. Important also to ask forgiveness from your child--and to let go of any unforgiveness you may feel to the mom. And of course start going to Mass each week. I assure you of my prayers. I know that God is going to do something great in your life and use you to heal others.

God bless,

Fr. Phil Bloom

Post-Abortion Healing: Project Rachel

Should Men Have a Say about Abortion?