I would like to answer Lillie Wade the question she posted about Celibacy. I'd like to quote parts of the letter.

It was possible during the Middle Ages in tiny European villages, but this era is one of mass media. And that media loves nothing more than sex. From infanthood, children are bombarded with sexual images from every information source.

In one thing you are right... children are really bombared with sex from newspapers, tv, etc. But does that make sex right? Some hundred years ago, aztec warriors thought that killing for their 'gods' was good... it was pretty common... thousands of sacrifices in just one day. But does that make murder right? Not at all. It is true that it's much more difficult to tell people to remain celibate while they can't.

But oh yes, they really can. The real thing is, do they WANT it? Most of us people know how "good" sex is... no, not is... feels is the correct word. It's exactly the same with other addictions... drugs, smoking, alcohol. They feel good, but are they good for you?

I would like to ask you Lillie, to ask teens what they would do for sex... many men stop seeing women as people with feelings, hearts... but just how good are their bodies. They fool young girls saying that they love them... if they really loved them, they wouldn't ask them for sex.

It is unrealistic to put someone in a seminary and expect to mold him into an asexual being. Sex and sexual identity are such large parts of young men's psyches that it is harder than ever to be a priest today.

Again, Lillie, you are right... only in part. You shouldn't PUT someone in a seminary. You can't force someone to choose God over sex, or whatever this person wants. If God gave us one thing, to put us even above that angels, is freedom. We have the right to choose God because we LOVE him, and not because we can't choose anything else. If someone really loves God, he will surely choose to be celibate, even if he doesn't choose to be a priest, friar, etc.

The policy that birth control and sterilization prevent healthy functions seems hypocratic when the Church's particular method of isolating it's priests from the world around them (e.g. making them wear their collars on the streets) prevents healthy psychological functions (interacting and connecting with people).

Well, i don't know Lillie, what you mean by 'interacting and connecting' with people... I will use myself as an example. I am a healthy male, and i have many female friends. And i love them. Like my sisters, but love is very different from sex. IF you ever thought that you needed to 'make love' for someone to accept you, i'm sorry... but that point of view is extremely wrong.

Why am i celibate? Because i love God. That's all... was it easy? No, it wasn't... at first. I had to pray to stop myself from wanting sex. At first, when i stopped having sex... i started to have dreams about sex. Maybe because in my subconcious i still wanted it... and i didn't allow myself to have it. I might ask you... why does a husband keep faithful to his wife? Because he loves her. If he was asked to have sex... i bet he would say... "i'm sorry, you're a very beautiful woman, and nice, i like you... but i love my wife."

You may answer, "Yes, but that's different. A husband can have sex with his wife!" Then, i ask you, why so many husbands are being unfaithful to their spouses, even when they have sex?

I've read that an estimated 20% of priests at any time in America do not keep their celibacy vows, and for missionary priests it is an estimated 50%. Alcoholism is rampant among clegy and due, ultimately, to loneliness. Why does the Church cling so tenaciously to celibacy?

Why? Simple. You state that only 20% of priests do not keep their bows. If the Pope said, for example... "from now on all priests can have wife"... do you think things would change? If they do... things would only get worse. Less percentage of celibate priests. But the church is not forcing men to become priests...

And what about normal, single people?

I will answer by quoting the bible. Celibacy is right because free sex is wrong. I will prove it:

It was said to the ancestors: "you shall not commit adultery." Now i tell you that he who looks with evil desires at a woman, he already commited adultery in his heart" (Matt 5:27-28)

"Get rid totally of all forbidden sexual relationships. All other sin that man commits is exterior to him. On the contrary, he who has forbidden sexual relationships sins against his own body. Don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, that He inhabitates in us and that we have received Him from God? You do not own yourselves, but you have been bought to a great price. Then, may your bodies be used to give glory to God." (1 Cor 6:18-20)

You might ask, how can we get rid of this? By praying and by taking communion, since Christ strengthens our spirit. I will continue with my example. I was horribly addicted to sex. I won't give the reasons, let's just say that it was a traumatic experience at the age of 8. Since i was 10 or 11, i started having sex, even more than once a day. It continued for years... until God showed me that it wasn't impossible to quit. I didn't even prayed many rosaries to stop it.. just 7 Ave Marias every day. And the first day that i prayed, i quit. It was indeed a miracle. But it wasn't impossible. I am here to prove it. Am i getting sick because i quit sex? Not at all. Instead, i got healthier, and with more energy to do other things than sex, like studying, making exercise, etc.

Celibacy might be hard at first... but after the first days, it gets more and more easy. One warning tho: Remember the prayer that Jesus taught us. "Do not lead us into temptation." But why pray in vain, if we plan to lead ourselves there! You must learn to stay away from temptation... like stores with adult magazines available...

A lot of thanks to Fr. Bloom for letting this letter to be published. And more thanks to God for helping me to reach celibacy at the age of 21, and to our Holy Mother, Virgin Mary, for praying for me.

Ricardo Garcia


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